thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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