You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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