Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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