My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize