the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
