hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
