just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
