New invention idea: vibrating tampons
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
