It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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