At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
