your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
