I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
