Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
