found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
