I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
