singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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