I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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