It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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