Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
