He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
