thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Randomize
