I'm really into asian looking animals
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
