I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
