So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
