my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize