What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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