girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
