I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
