i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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