When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
