Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
