Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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