Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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