We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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