Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We have started to decorate penises.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
