She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
