he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
not ubering you a puppy
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
