what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
