I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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