i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
