Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
