ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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