I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
