Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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