3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
