I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize