Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
are you so shy because you have an std?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize