i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
