Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
