Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
