Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
