I cockslap morals
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize