make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
