Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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