I can tuck mytits in my pants
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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