there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
