when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
