You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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