Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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