and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
