I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
