it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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