I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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