I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
